Saturday, July 14, 2018

The Science of Happy Living


As humans we are almost hardwired to think about self-preservation and protecting our loved ones.  These days there are lots of things to worry about that can rob us of our peace and hopefulness.  The problem is that what we consistently think about impacts both our feelings and behaviors greatly.  As a society, when we hit our pillows at night, we often find ourselves solely thinking about what went wrong during our day rather than what went well.  We focus our attention on the negative events of the past and/or upon the fear of what might happen tomorrow.   This limits our ability to engage with the world around us in positive ways and embrace the opportunities to make good choices in the here and now.  We are losing the art of joyful living.


Being involved in the social sciences, education and social work has been a part of my life for decades.  I received a BA degree in sociology and psychology in the mid-seventies.  Now that we are soon to be empty-nesters, I have accepted employment as a therapist.  What I find especially exciting is that with increasing technology we are now better able to see the impact of specific interventions on the brain.  We can see and document what really works.  Sometimes these things seem small or too simple, but their impact can be dramatic in reducing anxious and depressive symptoms.  One of those interventions is a practice many therapists call, “Three Good Things”.  It is a simple practice of taking time to write down three things that happened to you during the day prior to going to bed.  This video briefly explains this practice.  https://youtu.be/ZOGAp9dw8Achttps://youtu.be/ZOGAp9dw8Ac
The data is quite astounding as to the benefits of this practice.  For example, daily writing three positive things nightly has been documented as being equally effective as taking Prozac, except that the effects are longer lasting and one’s capacity for restful sleep is improved.  For additional information you can Google “Three Good Things” and Duke University:

https://today.duke.edu/2016/02/resilience

The following video goes a little deeper about the data behind the power of positive psychology and our ability to enhance our capacity to experience joy and well-being in life.  I highly recommend you watch this:

It is never too late to learn the principles upon which happiness is based.  How does this information relate to my being a  wife, mother and grandmother?  How does this relate to my being a Christian?  The ability to make positive changes in our lives and evoke positive change in others is greatly enhanced when can see the strengths and positive attributes that already exist and build upon them.  The very challenge that plagues us most in our life may be the very impetus we need to dig deep and prayerfully determine a better course of action to obtain a better condition of life.  Is this what is meant by Matthew 11:28-30?
"Come unto me all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart; and ye shall find rest unto your souls.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." 

One of my favorite scriptures is from the LDS Doctrine and Covenants, section 78 verse 19:
"And he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even a hundred fold, yea, more."  

I love to ask the following in my morning prayer:  Teach me what I am prepared to learn this day that is most expedient for me to understand.  Help me to know out of all the things I should repent of, what I should focus on most today and finally, of all things I might do today, guide me in the best use of my time. 

I actually write down what I think I might be hearing after asking those questions.  When I am sincere in that effort, I find I don't run out of hope before the end of the day, even though I fail to live a perfect day ever.  I find that the best conversations we have as a couple, or as a family are those conversations that focus on ways we think we see the hand of God in our lives and we share what we think we are learning.







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