Oh, no! Not another Mom Letter!



MOM LETTERS
Mom letters are infamous in my home.  I maintain I send them just to share what I think I have been learning, but the recipients often see them as a forum for sharing what I think they are not doing or could be doing better, a written form of a "come to Jesus" meeting.  If they would read them a little more carefully, they contain things I want to do better.  Sharing our thoughts in written form is a great mental exercise and is most valuable, not for the recipients, (our children and spouses), but for the person writing them!   If people waited until they were perfect at understanding and implementing truth, we would have no scriptures and no novels. A mom letter is also an invitation to write back and share what they have been learning. 

WOMEN NEED OTHER WOMEN
Throughout my life, I have been blessed with several individuals who have kept me accountable in sharing what I felt I was learning.  First it was my sister, then there was a group of women who gathered on a regular basis, then it was a sister-in-law and finally, an intimate group of friends.   Throughout all of this time, I had children who were hungry to exchange dreams and spiritual experiences when we gathered each weekend morning, summer or times they were off track and there was pillow talk with older children when they came home from a date or work and on the way to Gramma’s house and back.    With these individuals, lunch, snacks, dinner and even fun, were always secondary to the spiritual sharing that took place.   What was so fun, is that the individuals involved expected something important would take place, they expected mutual edification.  They thought they would get something at the table from the individuals gathered and they felt they would contribute something of value.  

Current and future moms with whom I share regularly. 

 Photo of several of my daughters and two daughters-in-law with me in the center.

THE MEN IN MY LIFE.
 I am encircled about with men who see women as equals in spirituality and importance.  It is something they believe in their innermost souls.  No man can pretend what isn't there convincingly.   My husband, Bryan, has learned communication skills that have lifted my soul.  He is willing to hear me out and not rush in with solutions or condemn me for conclusions.  It is a powerful, powerful tool.  Parenting and marriage books promise that the one sharing is far more likely to consider options and see their flaws in thinking, far faster than when being compelled to do so.   It is so true!  But, I have found men are more reluctant to share deeply. 



Sometimes husbands see the invitation of "let's talk" as a hostage situation!  A photo of me with my husband, Bryan. 



KEEPING A JOURNAL IS ANOTHER WAY OF SOLIDIFYING WHAT WE ARE LEARNING ALONG THE WAY.

I learned from these ladies about an important principle which I have simply called “writing”.   It is simply to briefly record our morning prayer.  I literally write down my prayer and it begins with “Dear Father”.  I take a moment to recognize His hand in my life and my greatest questions and desires.   I also record any dreams I may have had, not knowing initially if they are meaningful or not.   After doing that, I just take some time to listen what comes into my heart and mind as if from His mouth.   These are primarily what are contained in my multitude of journals.  For example, I recorded what I saw as a miracle yesterday.  We had determined to get all of our things out of the basement to give Brett and Missy and their children more room in the basement.   I had suggested this as a goal, but  Dad determined we should do this yesterday.  He brought everything upstairs and I began to be faint of heart.  We have been used to having all or a portion of a basement to house some of 40 years of collected stuff.  When I saw what came up, I was overwhelmed.  I shared my concerns with my Heavenly Father, and received a  few short impressions.  They were simply that angels would help me in this task and it would be done in a day and I would joy and rejoice in the results.  Though our kitchen looked like we just moved in with box after box staring at me, I now approached this task with hope.  Hope is the biggest by product of daily sharing with the Lord when there is that expectation that you will get something important from that process.  For me it is different from just praying.  It is a form of accountability.

THREE IMPORTANT DAILY QUESTIONS FOR THE LORD.
In my written prayer, I ask three important questions in one form or another.  What am I prepared to learn today about the gospel?   I am basically asking God to tutor me.   Next, of all the things I need to repent of, bring into my view that which is most needful to address now.  Finally, what is the best use of my time and energies today?   I write down the feelings that immediately come as if from His own mouth.  Surely, many of those thoughts are my own, but I also believe many come from outside of me.  I am able to consider things I had not considered.  I feel the spirit and my hope doesn’t run out that day.  I feel the gospel is doable when I am consistent in this process. 

THE POTENTIAL OF SHARING VERBALLY WITH OTHERS

I just completed a contracted thirty school days of teaching 10 teenage boys who are in state's custody this summer for our local school district.   It is a new program where the boys have a chance to earn recovery credit and fill in any gaps in learning they may have.  I teach them math, language arts and study skills.   We talk about principles of learning every morning for just a couple of minutes.  I often feel strong waves of the spirit in that process.  In their eyes, though they have done all sorts of criminal acts, though they know little about the principles of Godliness, they expect to learn something and they think they have something to share.  This summer has probably been the highlight of my professional career.  Last week I shared excerpts of an article that appeared in Forbes Magazine that described 10 important characteristics of highly influential people.    Though I only got to read the first four, because I had to subscribe to the magazine to get the rest, these concepts literally made my heart sing because they happen to include what I also consider are the four most important elements of establishing a Zion Society.   The following is my interpretation of what she wrote about in my own words. 

The first is that those successful individuals are consistently engaged in an effort to learn more and improve.  The world is filled with individuals who grumble through life, hate their job and their circumstances and then there are those who love what they do and love their life.  These are primarily those who see life an a never ending opportunity to grow. 

The second was that these individuals were not content to have things remain as they are.  They always saw situations that needed to change and set about to change them.   My thought is that these individuals see what is going well, but also can see those ways that a situation or circumstance can improve and are not afraid to share those ideas.  They have faith in themselves as being an instrument of change and they believe in others' capacities to make needed changes. 

The third characteristic was that these individuals know that nothing great happens if it isn’t mutually beneficial.  It is never at the expense of those with whom you associate or work with.  The author said that the world is full of individuals who have a positive mindset and are shakers and movers, but if they are willing to get ahead at the expense of others, they really are simply narcissists.  Then there are those few who understand and are committed to the mutual benefit of all involved. 

 The fourth characteristic of these individuals is that they recognize the need for sharing and are open to others’ critiques.  They recognize the importance of synergy in making progress and getting things done.  My thoughts are that this will even occasionally include sharing with those set over us.   There is order in any church organization, any  business, and even in a family if you subscribe to a patriarchal order.  All members of any organization need to bring their best to the table.  Sometimes that necessitates having difficult conversations.  After collaboration and decisions are made by those in authority, all need to work together to make those decisions work to the best of their abilities.  

I only have to guess what the author included in the remainder of her list, but there are two I would add:   One is that there is a plan for us that is far more detailed than we suppose and that the circumstances in which we find ourselves, could be part of that "plan" and are often potential stepping stones to greater things, if we turn unto the Lord.   I have quoted Neal Maxwell numerous times:  "It does no violence to our frail human logic to observe that there cannot be a grand plan of salvation for all mankind, unless there is also a plan for each individual."    Seeking the Lord's input and view of what is to be a part of our lives and what isn't is actually a part of the repentance process.    Ultimately, it doesn’t matter what others think of us.  It doesn’t matter if they buy into our philosophies.  It doesn’t matter if others make needed changes.  What matters if that, with God’s help, we find out what our errand is exactly which often includes giving others their best chance of coming unto Christ.  Our plan often and will primarily  consist of opportunities to interface with certain individuals throughout the course of our lifetime.

The second I feel to share and this of course, this is not an exhaustive list, (though this post may seem a little exhausting), is that there are righteous priorities that are always in play.   Our first priority is our relationship with God for without that one, we are terribly handicapped in meeting other’s needs or fulfilling our life’s mission.  The second is our spouse or in the absence of a spouse, our focus needs to be in becoming “spouse” material rather than finding that spouse.  The third is our unmarried children, followed by our married children.   Then, our priority is the world at large with those closest to us and beyond.   Whatever choices we make, this order matters most.  As we seek to please the Lord, we need to keep an open mind, both as to what the Lord is going to ask us to sacrifice and what he is willing to give us or ask us to retain. 

Though I have ten children, this is my current nuclear family, as the rest of our children are married.



So how did things turn our yesterday?  The angels ended up being Audrie, Alyse and Bryan and intermittent thoughts from my Father in Heaven throughout the day.  The miracle was that things in my home were better organized.  We found a place for everything.  I now have many things all in the same location.  The garbage can is full.   Ironically,  I don’t feel more cramped, but rather more functional.  We found things we thought were lost.  I initially believed this was a hopeless task.  I don’t know what lies ahead in immediate futurity.  I only know that God is merciful and that His perspective will beat mine any day. 

Love, Mom