Shanelle and Craig playing Mary and Joseph
We have a family Christmas tradition that I love. While we always have the children act out the manger scene at Christmas. We also get to visit with the "adult" members of that original cast and get to know them better. We take time to consider what they must have done to prepare themselves to receive the Savior. For example, it is unthinkable to me that Mary was wholly unfamiliar with spiritual experience until that moment she was greeted by the angel Gabriel. If you consider the words in Luke, she was not surprised at seeing an angel, but rather what manner of salutation he gave her. And I believe that Joseph, who after learning that his beloved fiancé was with child, would not have been able to rely upon the content of a dream to marry her and support her for the rest of her mortal life, if he didn't already possess the ability to discern between a meaningful dream and one that was not. I also think the story of Elizabeth, the mother of John the Baptist and Zacharias, his father, teaches us much. Nothing in society confirmed a woman's worthiness in that society than her ability to bear children and nothing brought them greater sadness than to be barren. It was no accident that this was the test of so many great women of the bible and is likewise a test for women today. Elisabeth's story also confirms the importance of women gathering with women of like faith.
Missy and Brett playing Elisabeth and Zac
Consider, Hannah, the mother of Samuel, Sarah, the mother of Isaac, and Rachel, the mother of Joseph. Often the Lord would seal up the womb of a woman to open it in a miraculous manner. The Wise Men, when interviewed, shared how they were considered among the elite of society and yet, nothing was more important to them than meeting their Lord and Savior. The Shepherds, considered the very bottom of society, did not let their low station prevent them from broadcasting the news of the birth of the Savior.
After meeting our biblical guests, we discuss as a family the question of what are we doing to be prepared for His coming? The biggest take away from our portrayal of the Savior's birth is always the words expressed by Mary as recorded in Luke 1:37, "And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word." LDS doctrine promotes that all individuals have a mission in mortality that is specific to them. I love the way that Neal A Maxwell, explained it: "It does no violence to our frail human logic to observe that there cannot be a grand plan of salvation for all mankind, unless there is also one for each individual, (A More Determined Discipleship, February Ensign 1979)."
While, we each have a mission to fulfill, we also believe that part of that mission as a people, is to individually promote the importance of child bearing and rearing. I had one of those days earlier this week where I wondered if I had done any good in the world. I considered my efforts to share my thoughts in written form such as in this blog and in books I have coauthored, or about my efforts to share my thoughts about the role of women verbally, as a guest speaker or church instructor throughout the years, and finally, about my efforts to strengthen families professionally in working with children and families at risk since 2007. I had no tangible evidence that I have made any difference at all in the lives of those whom I have tried to positively influence. But, what I realized this morning was that the best decision I ever made was to involve the Lord in my decision of who to marry. Subsequent vitally important decisions made together as husband and wife included when and how many children we would have and the decision to read to them daily from the scriptures. Our hope was that we would introduce them to the One, who had all the answers to the questions they would have. In 1977, eleven months after we married, we had our first child and I quit working. In 1999, we had our last child. The surprise wasn't that we were suddenly pregnant in our later forties, but that we had multiple witnesses that we were to bear once again.
Alyse, our youngest daughter, born when I was 46 and my husband, 49
So my advice? Involve the Lord in your decisions regarding the bearing and rearing of children. I see a trend within the world today of marrying older, waiting to bear children and having fewer children. This is the case even among Latter-day Saint women. My question is, what has more power to positively influence the world in which we live? Is it to go out and do something amazing or is it to rear and teach children that can influence the world for generations to come?
I have seen many who women who want more. In my graduate class this week, I heard a woman say exactly that. "I didn't want to just be a wife and a mother, I wanted more." While women have always been encouraged to be among those who serve and serve diligently, the question is not whether to serve, but how and in what manner. That picture often changes depending upon our age and circumstance. My mother-in-law served so many within her area and community, but she was quick to add that when you are in the hot and heavy of child rearing, you are not expected to neglect your children or families to serve others in large and time consuming ways. I have seen many young mothers engage in sports and home businesses that do compete with their thoughts, focus and energies. I have seen while investigating child abuse that supervision is key for children of any age. President Kimball's counsel to be at the crossroads, is still excellent advice. Other women are sometimes enticed by health pursuits, fitness regimens, energy healings, use of "mediums", and other practices that eventually require large amounts of time and often money to sustain, that often take them out of the home in order to be "successful" and get others likewise involved. Some of those mediums can include therapists, in all their varieties, or a physician who can offer tranquility in a pill. There is a place for some regimens, interventions and fields of practice and many have been inspired to find relief in a variety of places, but at other times we find ourselves described by Paul in 1st Timothy, chapter 4: "Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; . . . Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth, . . .But refuse profane and old wives' fables, and exercise thyself rather unto godliness. For bodily exercise profiteth little; but godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come."
How do we know if we are making spiritual progress or not, whether you have gone beyond the mark or not in some things? Consider the advice of Alma to his son: "And now, my son, I would that ye should understand that these things are not without a "shadow; for as our fathers were slothful to give heed to this compass (now these things were temporal) they did not prosper; even so it is with things which are spiritual. For behold, it is as easy to give heed to the word of Christ, which will point to you a straight course to eternal bliss, as it was for our fathers to give heed to this compass, which would point unto them a straight course to the promised land. And now I say, is there not a type in this thing? For just as surely as this director did bring our fathers, by following its course, to the promised land, shall the words of Christ, if we follow their course, carry us beyond this vale of sorrow into a far better land of promise," (Alma 37:43-45).
I may appear as a pot calling the kettle black. Especially as I have worked outside of the home for almost 10 years now, and am now attending a graduate school of social work. I even exercise for 15 minutes a day. But, the best decision, I ever made was to spend 30 years outside of the workforce, in the home with my children. I feel I have been blessed to be able to do things now that I thought I was forever giving up at the time. The miracle is that you aren't ever penalized for putting first things first and that will be determined between you and the Lord. I am still learning that all important lesson and need daily reminders. Too often I engage in my own agenda and not His. I was greatly influenced by the words of President Benson in his address: To the Mothers in Zion, delivered on February 22, 1987. http://emp.byui.edu/SATTERFIELDB/PDF/ToMothersofZion.pdf For the most part, he quoted prophets who preceded him. We live in an age when we sometimes think any sacrifice or any good work will do. But that philosophy is negated by the first family on earth. Their sacrifices were to be of a specific nature. I believe it is the same for us today.
